


and your soul gleams (like i should steal it)

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 19:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19482343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: Magnus Bane is the lead singer of a popular music group, living his best life in the limelight. Alec Lightwood is just a normal college student trying to fly under the radar as much as possible and just make it through life. So when Alec and Magnus activate each other's marks will they figure out a way to fit into one another's lives, or will miscommunication and unspoken emotions get in the way?---or, the one where two people who are literally destined to be together fall in love and still manage to almost mess it up





	and your soul gleams (like i should steal it)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everylosttouch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everylosttouch/gifts).



> Title taken from lyrics to "Pope" by Copeland.

Alec always thought that the moment he’d meet his soulmate would be a very boring, typical one. The mark he had since birth covered his palm and so the initial touch of a handshake was the obvious assumption. Would it happen at school? Being introduced to a friend of a friend? Perhaps at a business conference, he considered. 

Of course, there would be nothing ‘boring’ about the revelation he knew it would come with - though he pushed off saying anything to anyone other than his siblings, Alec was gay. He’d known for ages but it’s easy to hide when he covered it up with the decision to not bother dating until he met his soulmate. What was the point? The logic was flawed, of course - there were tragic cases of people never finding their soulmate, which seemed to go against the very heart of the thing - but he was insistent enough that most people accepted it and he got to keep his secret until whatever day fate decided to put that handshake into his life. 

If only he knew how wrong his assumptions were, and what would happen at the Downworlders concert that warm summer day.

Izzy won the free tickets on a radio contest and dragged Alec along because no one else was free that day. Not that he minded - he enjoyed the music well enough, even if he wasn’t some serious fan with t-shirts and signs screaming along to every word. It was a nice day with plenty of sun and just enough breeze and he was enjoying himself, something he hadn’t allowed much of lately buried in his schoolwork and blowing off the few friends he did have. This was what summer vacation was for, after all. 

When the lead singer jumped into the crowd in the middle of the set and began to crowd-surf, Alec’s heart skipped a beat as the concertgoers shifted underneath him instinctively, nearly dropping him before securing a hold on the guy and lifting him back up above their heads. “These people are insane,” Alec shouted at Izzy above the roar of the crowd, trying to imagine having that much blind trust in a crowd of strangers (or maybe just not caring in the slightest, which was an even more horrifying prospect to consider). The singer, wearing black skinny jeans that left little to the imagination and a three-quarter sleeve shirt that was more sheer than fabric, passed by them and Alec did his due diligence in raising his hands to help support him, catching his arm as he seemed to float above the sea of people. 

At first Alec thought he imagined the sting he felt on his palm - a rough patch of the singer’s shirt? Maybe a few too many hands reaching in at once (he knew first hand that nails like the ones Izzy wore sometimes might as well be classified as weapons), until he saw it after the singer passed and he lowered his arm. His palm. His palm, which was now glowing with the silver sheen of an activated soulmark. 

Alec’s head snapped up and back to where the lead singer was being passed back up towards the stage, catching the hint of shine under the sheer fabric of the shirt covering his arm. The singer locked eyes with Alec who looked from his own mark to the musician’s in muted horror before turning and pushing his way out of the crowd. 

\--

It isn’t so much the fact that his mark was on his arm that struck Magnus as strange, but it’s placement on the underside of it, like someone would reach out to grab him from behind one day to touch it. Was his soulmate a potential kidnapper? Someone pushing him out of the way of danger? A million exciting ideas filled his dreams for years.

And then his band took off. The first fan photo he was asked for left him acutely aware of the girl’s eagerness to latch onto his arm _just so_ for the photo, and many photos thereafter. He grew increasingly certain that one of his fans would end up his soulmate just out of sheer probability, and much to his displeasure he’d find fans not-so-subtly placing hands over his soulmark during photo ops and meet-and-greets, clearly just hoping for their shot at fame and fortune. 

He never let it deter him from casual hook-ups and even the serious relationship or two, though the disappointment that began to settle every time their marks didn’t activate soured the relationship before they could ever get too far. After all, who wanted to spend years of their life with someone only to discover in their 30's that they weren’t the person you’re meant to be with forever? What if you loved them, would you just drop everything to chase after some stranger who lit up when you bumped into them? 

Performances were the few times Magnus allowed himself to not think about it at all. He could get lost in his music, in the lyrics he wrote, in putting his all into every note of every song in every show until his sweat, tears, and occasionally blood left their marks. It was no different when he played the show in New York, taking a literal leap of faith into the crowd and allowing them to pass him along, eyes closed against the blinding rays of sun shining down on him. 

And then he felt it. It pricked like an electric shock, almost, and the hint of sting left behind made him wonder if he hadn’t cut himself on someone’s ring from the hands reaching out to keep him propped above the crowd. He almost ignored it until the location of the sting registered - his mark. Magnus’ eyes shot open and he stared down at it for just a second in surprise before turning his gaze to the crowd around him - or more specifically behind him, now. Who was it? How would he ever be able to tell with this many people… 

That’s when he saw him: the guy with striking dark hair and eyes wide with surprise - eyes which couldn’t seem to settle on a single hue between golden browns and soft greens. The guy who was looking down at a shimmering hand before looking up at where Magnus was currently being re-deposited onto the stage by a sea of fans. They locked eyes, just for a moment, and Magnus knew it was him. It _had_ to be. 

Magnus had to turn his back to the man to get back onto the stage properly, climbing with as much grace as he could muster back onto his feet on the stage. He spun back immediately to find the guy in the crowd again, but he was gone. And not ‘lost in the sea of people’ gone, because despite the decent turnout Magnus could still pick apart individual faces, and that’s one face he isn’t going to forget any time soon. 

Magnus stared helplessly at the space the man used to be, scanning the crowd, his heart sinking when he caught sight of the tall guy with dark hair pushing his way out of the crowd. 

His soulmate, whoever he was, was _leaving._

Ragnor gave him a nudge from the side when he missed his next cue and Magnus was forced to remember where he was and what he was doing. He couldn’t have an existential crisis in the middle of a show and managed to hold himself together enough to finish the set - though the rest of his performance was far from his best, too distracted by the life-changing event that just occurred.

After all, nothing he sang of love and life could compare to the spark he just felt… the one he feared might’ve been lost just as quickly as it was found. 

\---

“Alec! Alec, wait!!” Alec hears Izzy’s voice sound from behind him, barely audible over the roar of the crowd behind him. He couldn’t seem to put enough space between himself and the stage no matter how fast he walked - he couldn’t even manage to lose his little sister who was grabbing him by the arm to stop him a moment later. 

“Alec! What the hell got into you--” she started, voice trailing off at the sight of his hand. “ _Oh my god,_ Alec! Your mark, it’s-” 

“Shhh,” Alec hissed, pulling her further away from the crowd. “I need to leave. Right now. You can stay and I’ll give you money for a cab or whatever, but I just… I can’t be here.” 

“What happened? Who was it?” Izzy asked, clearly confused as to how she missed it when they were standing right next to one another the whole time. 

Alec turned and looked back up to the stage, worrying his lower lip. Izzy’s gaze followed his own to where the lead singer was standing, looking around the crowd like he was suddenly lost on his own stage, clearly distracted and not at all focused on the set. 

“ _Magnus Bane?!”_ Izzy said - or rather, nearly shouted in her excited disbelief. At least one of them was happy about this, Alec thought wryly. He hadn’t even known the lead singer’s name until Izzy said it just then.

Magnus Bane. 

“Yes. I think so. But I don’t want to stick around to find out. I can’t do this, Izzy.” Alec repeated. It seemed to be the only thought in his head, that he needed to get out, to get away. His whole life he waited for this moment and now that it was here he wanted nothing more than to take it back. 

“Why?! Alec, he’s your _soulmate_. You can’t just run away from him.” 

“Watch me,” Alec stated defiantly, pressing a crumpled $20 bill into her hand for the cab later before he turned and left without looking back. 

\---

“What the _hell_ was that, Bane?” Raphael growled at him after their set. “Did someone drug you during that stage dive? Hit your head out there and suddenly forget every entrance to every verse? Please tell me you didn’t sneak vodka into your water bottle again, because I swear to--” 

“Easy, Raph,” Catarina interrupted, her tone surprisingly quiet as she pointed to Magnus’ arm. “Look.” 

Ragnor and Raphael both stopped what they were doing to abruptly stare at the spot on Magnus’ arm, half-visible underneath his shirt. 

“... _dios_ ,” Raphael said, tone suddenly much softer than before. 

“Someone in the crowd?” Ragnor asked, putting two and two together. After all, besides those moments of crowd surfing Magnus was on stage with them the whole time, and they all knew it wasn’t one of them. 

“Yeah. We both made eye contact after it happened - he’s beautiful,” Magnus admitted with a fond smile. “He also took off a moment later.” Magnus gave a sudden laugh, but it was harsh and rueful. “All this time I was afraid it would be someone who only wanted me for my fame. Figures the fact that I’m famous would be the thing that scares him off.” 

“You can’t know that,” Catarina pointed out. “He’ll come around, whatever it is. You _are_ soulmates, after all.” 

“Yeah, for all you know he’s waiting for you out there right now,” Ragnor offered, giving him a clap on the back. 

That didn’t seem to be the case. A few fans do linger, some with backstage passes and others just hoping to catch a glimpse of the band or get an autograph, but security kept them at bay for the most part. Magnus was about to head back to the tour bus when he heard someone shouting his name. 

“Magnus! Magnus, wait, I need to talk to you!” It’s the voice of a female he didn’t recognize, and she’s giving security one hell of a fight as she struggled against their attempts to keep her on the other side of the blockade. She ducked past them with surprisingly balance considering the thin heel of the boots she wore. 

“Sir, do you know this woman?” The guard asked, grabbing her by the arm again before she can get too far. 

Magnus shook his head. “Not at all,” he admitted. For reasons he wasn’t sure of himself, he felt certain she wasn’t a stalker fangirl. Maybe it was the look in her eyes, slightly pleading and full of something akin to concern. 

“I know I look crazy,” she said, no longer struggling so they wouldn’t throw her out right away. “But I need to talk to you before you leave. My brother’s the one who touched your arm.” 

At this point the guard looked about two seconds away from tazing her and calling it a day but Magnus stopped dead in his tracks at those words. “Let her go,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. 

“Sir, I--”  
  
“I said let her go,” Magnus repeated, more forcefully this time. “She’s with me now, I’ll take responsibility for her..” Magnus watched as the girl straightened up from her struggle against the guard, brushed her hands down her dress to flatten the wrinkles it, and then very calmly took a few steps toward him before hesitating. She obviously didn’t think beyond this part of her plan. 

“This?” Magnus said, holding up his arm. “Your brother is the gorgeous man with the hazel eyes and the hair that looks like it hadn’t seen a brush in days?” 

“Ah, you give him too much credit assuming he owns a hairbrush,” the girl said with a melodic laugh. “He’d kill me if he knew I was here.” 

Magnus winced at the confirmation of his previous fear. “Then why are you?” 

“Because he doesn’t know what’s good for him. No, scratch that. He does know, but he doesn’t think he deserves it so he runs from it.” She decided. 

“Is that what he did today? I saw him leaving, after he- after we touched.” Magnus tried not to let it show how much that upset him. He failed miserably. 

“Don’t take it personally. He’s just overwhelmed. He’ll come around. Just… don’t give up on him, alright?” Her words were kind, her eyes full of hope. 

“I can't give up something I never had in the first place,” Magnus pointed out. “I’m not going to chase him down and guilt him into something he doesn’t want.” He paused. “But… what I can do is give you my number. Do you have any paper on you?” 

The girl opened her purse and pulled out her ticket to the show. “I have this?” 

“Perfect,” Magnus said, writing a few numbers down it before handing it back to her. “Let him know he can call me any time he wants to talk about all of this. I’m only in the city tonight and it would’ve been nice to meet him now, but…” Magnus frowned despite his best efforts to not let it show how much the way this played out bothered him. After all, over two decades of wondering how that magical moment of meeting your soulmate would play out and it ended with the guy sprinting away from him as fast as he could? Not ideal. 

It was actually really fucking heartbreaking, not that he’d ever admit that to even his closest friends, let alone this guy’s sister he only just met. 

“I will,” The girl promised, taking the ticket and putting it into her purse. “He’ll come around, I promise.” 

“I hope you’re right.” Magnus said, and turned to head back to the tour bus leaving the girl behind. He didn’t ask her name, or her brother’s. She didn’t offer and he decided he didn’t want to know, not until he was certain it was because the guy wanted him to. Finding out without his permission felt wrong, somehow; like a breach of privacy, or trust. 

Or maybe it’s just an excuse to justify continuing on the tour, because he knows if he had that information he’d stop at nothing to find him again, fixating until there’s nothing else that could possibly hold his focus. 

When he returns to the bus and fills the rest of his friends in they’re surprised at his decision, but supportive. It’s nothing less than he expects from them, even as he wonders if he made the right choice… 

\--- 

Alec waited for Isabelle to get home later with a pit in his stomach. He sat in his room, sprawled out in his bed in the dark while he stared at the ceiling, which seemed overly dramatic for how old he was. He and his sister always spent a lot of time together - she was born without a soulmark, which many thought would be awkward for her growing up. Instead Izzy embraced it, owning the fact that she was strong and independent and did mind the idea of not having someone out there ‘meant for her’. Alec used to feel bad for her but now it was such a freeing concept that Alec often wished their fates were reversed in that area. At least then he wouldn’t be where he was now. 

“Alec?” Izzy’s voice called into the dark apartment. He saw the shine of the hallway light through the closed bedroom door seconds before the knock sounded. “Alec, can I come in?” 

Alec considered pretending to be asleep, but instead called out, “sure”, though he felt anything but sure just then.

Izzy opened the door and cautiously turned on the light. “Alec… talk to me. You bolted out of there so fast…” 

“You can’t be too worried, you took your time getting home.” 

“I stayed to talk to Magnus,” she admitted, and the words sent him bolting upright in bed. The sheet previously pulled up to his nose fell down to pool around his lap but Alec paid it no mind.

“You _what?!”_

“I found him, after the show. Told him you were the one that activated his mark. You should’ve seen him the rest of the concert, searching the crowd for you. He looked like some sad puppy someone just kicked.” 

“As if I didn’t feel bad enough,” Alec muttered, flopping backwards onto the bed again. “He hates me already, doesn’t he?” 

“No,” Izzy said with surprising finality. “In fact, he gave me this to give to you.” She pulled the ticket out of her pocketbook and handed it over. “He said whenever you want, _if you want_ , to call him. He’s still on tour so he won’t be in the city, but he wants to talk if you do.” 

“I can’t possibly-- Iz, no one knows besides you, Jace, and Clary. I can’t come out to the entire goddamn world! He’s _famous_. This isn’t just like telling mom and dad my soulmate is the guy from the public library who smiles at me too much when I check out horror novels.” 

“So what is this all about? Your soulmate being famous, or being a guy?” 

“Both!” Alec said, clearly exasperated already. “I knew it would be a guy. I have for a while now, but I guess I always hoped… I don’t know. I hoped it might not be. That I was wrong about all of this, or if I wasn’t that at least I could keep it quiet.” He certainly didn’t plan on it being something that would end up in tabloids, on the front page of the internet and news articles from around the world. “And god, I’m boring as _hell_ . What is he going to see in me?” It took a lot for Alec to warm up to people, and even more for him to believe that someone actually enjoyed his company and wasn’t just placating him. How was he ever supposed to believe someone like Magnus could ever _truly fall_ for someone like him? What did he even have to offer a celebrity? 

“Alec… you’re a great guy. You’re caring, and funny, and more sarcastic than anyone has any right being, but something tells me Magnus is going to love all of that. You just have to give him the chance.” 

Alec looked down at the card in his hand. 

“I don’t know if I can,” he admitted.

“Well, Magnus said to only call if you wanted to. Guess he knew this would be a lot to process. He seemed… I don’t know. Sad, I guess? But not surprised. It was strange. You could tell he really, really wished you were there, but he seemed resigned to the fact that you weren’t.” 

That didn’t make Alec feel any better about the situation. 

“I just need some time,” he said, finally. “And I can’t believe you talked to him behind my back!” 

“You’re welcome,” Izzy smirked, knowing full well what wasn’t what Alec meant by that, before she turned and left him alone to wallow, shutting the light back off on her way out. 

\---

Magnus did his best to focus on the tour but it wasn’t long until the press caught wind of his activated soulmark. There were only so many long-sleeved shirts he could get away with as June progressed without giving himself heatstroke, after all. 

“Who’s the lucky person?” they asked, again and again. They must have thought he was just lying for the sake of sparing his soulmate the publicity when he told every reporterer that he wasn’t sure, but he hoped he’ll get to find out soon. 

“I don’t know. Honestly,” he said for the tenth time that week. 

“You can tell us if you’re just keeping them to yourself,” one of his favorite paparazzi, Luke, insisted. The guy was nice enough and always respected whatever boundaries Magnus set, which was why Magnus let him get the best, most exclusive shots. Plus, Luke took one _hell_ of a photograph.

“No, really. It happened so fast, I couldn’t do anything about it in the moment, and they didn’t want to meet me afterward. I respect that, though I do hope they change their mind. I’d love to meet them and get to know them.” Magnus was careful not to use genders when he discussed it, hoping whatever anonymity he could give the guy would work in his favor. “If you’re watching this,” he said, taking a chance and looking directly into the camera in front of him. “I really just want to talk. We don’t have to meet up. I don’t expect anything from you. I just hope you’ll find it in yourself to give me a chance.” 

“I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to give the great Magnus Bane a chance,” Luke said, and Magnus laughed. 

“You’d be surprised. I mean, I am a lot sometimes. A bit _too much_ , depending on who you ask. Can’t blame the guy for being scared away,” Magnus admitted in a rare moment of public self-deprecation. 

“Oh, so it’s a guy, then?” Luke picked up almost immediately, and Magnus frowned. 

“And I think we’re done here.” Magnus sighed, frustrated with himself as he turned away with unusual curtness from Luke. 

“Are you alright?” Cat asked once they were free of the cameras and prying ears.

“I’d be better if he called. Maybe his sister never gave him my number? Or maybe she was lying, and didn’t know him at all?” 

They both knew he was just trying to make himself feel better about the fact that it’d been two weeks since the show and Magnus hadn’t received a single call or text from the guy. When his manger found out he gave his personal number to a total stranger they acted like it was the end of the world for him, certain it’d end up online within hours. 

At least that outcome would’ve given him a welcomed distraction. Instead, Magnus’ phone remained painfully silent. 

\---

Alec stared at the number for the better part of a week. He kept it in his wallet, ready for whenever he decided to use it. He wanted to, more times than he cared to admit even to himself, but he didn’t until Magnus was halfway across the country. If it wasn’t for the interview Magnus gave and that melancholy, resigned look in his eyes, Alec was certain he never would’ve used it. But Magnus looked genuinely disheartened that Alec hadn’t reached out to him yet, and he figured he at least owed Magnus an explanation. 

Alec texted him while he knew he’d be in the middle of a set and wouldn’t see it right away, some small part of him hoping it might go entirely unnoticed. 

**A: Hey, it’s Alec. I’m the guy who… well, I guess I’m your soulmate.**

He waited, and an hour after Magnus’s show ended that night he got a reply. 

**M: Alec, hey! I’m really glad you decided to reach out.**

**A: Sorry it took so long. This whole thing just caught me off guard.**

**M: I completely understand. It’s a lot to take in. Most people don’t expect their soulmate to be famous.**

**M: ...God, that sounded horribly pretentious. I swear I’m not.**

**A: Hah, no, I get it. That’s actually part of the reason why I didn’t meet you right away. I’m not exactly out to most of the people in my life.**

**M: Ah. I see.**

**A: Nothing against you! Just… finding out my soulmate is a guy makes it pretty unavoidable, once I accept that. I wasn’t ready. I’m not sure I’m ready now, but I didn’t want to keep you waiting forever. That isn’t fair to you.**

**M: I appreciate that. Really, I do. And I don’t want to do anything you aren’t ready for, even if it’s just talking with me.**

**A: But I want to. Talk to you, that is. And get to know you better. If you want to? I can’t imagine why you’d care at all about some boring, average college guy with barely anything to his name, but…**

**M: How convenient. Boring, average college guys are my favorite. ;)**

Alec laughed at that, and they spent the rest of the night texting. And the night after that. And the day and night after that. Three days after the first text Alec actually called Magnus, and they spent the entire night talking until 4 am Alec’s time, 1 am on the west coast where The Downworlders had a show earlier that day. 

Magnus was very little of what Alec expected. He was 25, only a few years older than Alec’s own 21. Yes, he was loud and confident and had the sort of personality one would exist a frontman of a band to have, but he was so much more than just that. Magnus loved his friends and spoke of them like an extended family, with so much love and care that Alec found himself wishing he could meet them, silently thanking them for being so good to Magnus all these years. They talked about music, of course, but also about books, and history, and traveling, and almost anything Alec thought to bring up because Magnus seemed to know a little bit about everything. 

The fact that Magnus could be anywhere, doing almost anything with anyone else, wasn’t lost on Alec every time Magnus called _him_ after a show to say goodnight, or for a distraction beforehand if he was feeling nervous. And he listened. Magnus _really_ listened and seemed to genuinely care about him, not just out of obligation over their marks. It only took a week or two before Magnus could hear a bad day in Alec’s voice and talk him through it, no matter how exhausted from performing he might be.

They went on that way for nearly two months during the last leg of Magnus’ tour, and soon enough Alec found he couldn’t fall asleep without saying goodnight to the man he was falling in love with one text, one call at a time. 

\---

“You’re happy,” Catarina observed one morning. It was a rare day off for them and they all slept it before going out for breakfast, in-between cities and eager to get off the bus and stretch their legs. 

“I am,” Magnus confirmed without hesitation. “Alexander is wonderful. He’s intelligent, he humors all of my first world problem whining without judging me for it, and I think his dry humor and penchant for eye-rolling could rival Ragnor’s if we get them in a room together.” 

“Already thinking of subjecting him to Ragnor? This must be serious,” Cat laughed. “So he wants to meet, then?” 

“Well… to be honest, I haven’t brought it back up. He knows I’ll be back in New York in a week but neither of us have said anything about actually getting together.” 

“Are you afraid he’ll say no? You two practically are attached at the metaphorical hip on your phones. ...you’re texting him right now, aren’t you?” Cat demanded suddenly, and Magnus snapped his head up from his phone with a guilty smile. 

“Sorry,” he said, hitting one more button before sliding it back into his pocket. “I don’t think he doesn’t want to meet me. But meeting me is never just _meeting me_ . It’s dodging cameras, and risking your name ending up in a paper because I so much as said hi to you in line for coffee.”  
  
“And he still isn’t out yet?” Ragnor asked. 

“No, Ragnor,” Magnus rolled his eyes. “He didn’t decide to uproot his entire life in the two months he’s known me, as surprising as that is.” 

Ragnor shrugged. “Hey, I know plenty of people who _would_ for a shot at you.” 

“Well, Alexander isn’t like other people,” Magnus pointed out, smiling through a contented sigh. “I’m hoping to plan some secret rendezvous to sweep him off his feet properly once we’re back in the city.” 

“And this guy is worth hiding for?” Raphael questioned, eyebrow raised. 

“I don’t think I could hide if I tried,” Magnus laughed. “Anyways, I’m not _hiding_ us, I’m simply not _sharing_ anything about us until he’s ready. There’s a difference.” 

“Sounds like too much work,” Ragnor shrugged. 

“The things we do for love, I suppose,” Magnus said, so casually that he didn’t even realize the choice of words that left his mouth until Ragnor nearly choked on his coffee over it. Of course Magnus knew on some level, but somehow saying it made it more real. He was falling in love with Alexander Lightwood, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind. 

Unfortunately, Magnus could only ride the high of that revelation for an hour or two before he got a text from Luke.  


**L: I’m so sorry, Magnus. They didn’t tell me about the story until it was too late, they knew I’d warn you and you’d try to stop it.**

**M: Try to stop what? Luke, what’s going on?**

**L: Turn on E!**

Magnus pulled up the website on his phone, not bothering to get to a place with a television. Front page was a photo of him next to a photo of Alec and the headline ‘ _Bane’s Soulmate a Fan from New York_?’ He skimmed the article, hoping against all hope that perhaps Alec was the one to give the story, only to feel his heart drop upon realizing it was just some clever journalist with too much time on their hands who finally managed to find out more than he should’ve through an “unnamed, credible source” who knew just how often he and Alec called one another starting suspiciously around the same time Magnus’ mark activated (which, Magnus would bet any amount of money, boiled down to bribing someone at the phone company for illegal access to his records). They followed up with concert footage showing before and after his mark activated, and another ‘unnamed source’ who could confirm Alec was at the show that day.

“God _dammit_!” Magnus cursed, barely about to fight the urge to slam his phone into the ground. His first thought was selfishly bitter over his ruined plans for quietly getting to know Alec and secret dates, and --

\--and the reason they needed secret dates in the first place. In his anger over the news breaking outside of his own terms he almost forgot _why_ they hadn’t said anything. Alec would be more than just upset over some idiot hacking his phone records, this was Alec’s entire life bared to the world before he was ready. 

And it was all Magnus’ fault. He should’ve warned him, he should’ve known better than to think they would be able to keep this up for as long as they had… he should’ve been able to protect him from this, somehow. 

Magnus tried to call Alec twice with no answer before texting him. 

**M: Are you alright?**

**M: Alexander, I’m so sorry.**

**M:Please call me as soon as you get this.**

Frustrated, Magnus excused himself from the group and went back to the bus to wait for Alec’s call, already making calls to his manager and PR team to get ahead of this. Magnus had an idea of how to fix this for Alec if he worked fast enough… he hated it, but he knew exactly what he had to do to make this right again. 

**M: I’m going to fix this, I promise.**

\---

Alec checked his phone to see several missed calls and texts from Magnus, each one a bit more frantic than the last. He didn’t know what they were about - none of them mentioned specifics, but the apparent need for an apology was more than enough to set his nerves on edge - and was about to call and find out when his phone rang again. 

Isabelle. 

“Alec,” she said, after he answered on the first ring. “How are you?” 

“Iz, what happened?” He asked immediately. Two people checking in on him at the same time, when all he’d done was gone for a jog? There was no chance this was a coincidence. 

“...you didn’t see it yet, did you?” She sounded suddenly hesitant, clearly not expecting him to be as confused as he was about all of this. 

“See what?” Alec asked, frowning as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “I went for a jog and left my phone at home, and I come back to half a dozen missed messages from Magnus, which were vague as _hell_ , and then you called before I got a chance to talk to him.” 

“Oh. You might want to talk to Magnus first, then. I shouldn’t-” 

“Just tell me, Iz,” Alec snapped, already picturing some worst-case scenario of photos of Magnus making out with some hot actress on tour, or- 

“Check the internet.” Izzy said finally.  
  
“What site?”  
  
“Pretty much any of them,” she admitted, and he can hear the frown in her own voice. 

He grabbed his laptop and pulled up facebook -- and saw his face on the front page, spliced next to an image of Magnus Bane on an article some guy he went to college with posted and tagged him in to ask if this meant he could get them free tickets for the next tour. 

“What the _fuck_ ,” Alec cursed. 

“Someone put two and two together and figured out when Magnus’ mark activated, and that you two have been talking every day the past few months,” Izzy explained, unnecessarily as his eyes skim over the article speculating just that, as well as a rundown of his age, where he went to school, and ‘what he might be hiding’ for Magnus to want to keep their relationship a secret. His entire life on the internet for everyone to see. 

“Have mom and dad-” he started, but stops, almost not wanting to know. “Well, they haven’t called me yet, so at least there’s that. Shit,” Alec swore again. 

“I’ll talk to mom and dad,” Iz offered. 

“You know what, I don’t even care about them. Magnus sent me a bunch of texts apologizing… he must feel terrible right now.” 

“And how do you feel?” Izzy asked, and Alec realized that despite his initial moment of panic, he actually felt surprisingly relieved. 

“I think I’m okay, actually? Magnus is going to be back in New York in a few days and I was going to ask if he wanted to grab dinner or something, it would’ve come out sooner or later. It’s just sooner than I thought it would be. I can’t hide forever, not if I want to actually be a part of his life. And I like him, Iz. I really, _really_ like him. And if giving us a fighting chance means going public, I think I’m okay with it.” He said the words in a rush of revelation, waiting at the end to feel the dread creep back in, or to immediately want to take it back and go back to being totally anonymous. He waited for Izzy to tell him he was being insane. 

“You’re so far gone for him, aren’t you?” His sister asked instead, sounding surprised but happy. 

“I really am,” he agreed. “I have to call him. I’ll talk to you later.” He barely gave her a second to say bye before hanging up and calling Magnus, pacing the floor of the living room while he waited for him to answer, already imagining how thrilled Magnus would be to hear that Alec was ready to go all in on this. On _them_. 

“Alexander,” Magnus breathed into the phone when he finally answered, and Alec could hear the relief in his tone. 

“Hey,” Alec said. “Sorry I didn’t see your messages right away.”  
  
“You’re not the one who should be apologizing. I should’ve known they’d pull some stunt like this the longer I shut them out,” Magnus sighed. 

“It isn’t your fault. Honestly, thanks for keeping my name out of things as long as you did. I know it was hard for you.” Alec was practically shaking with the anticipation of telling Magnus he wouldn’t have to do that any more. Magnus had been so amazing about respecting his boundaries and privacy from the start of all this, and honestly, it was long overdue.  
  
“I know how life in the public eye can be. But don’t worry, I spent enough time talking my bandmate’s ears off about you since I couldn’t tell anyone else,” Magnus said, and Alec’s heart skipped a beat. Even after all these weeks some part of this still didn’t feel real to him. Alec allowed himself a moment to imagine their future- being pulled in for photo ops with Magnus, hearing the singer talk about missing him on the road during future tours, soft mornings making breakfast when he’s in town, and it only solidified what he said to Izzy a few minutes ago: this was just the push he needed to stop hiding. 

He wanted to give this a chance - a _real_ one - and was about to tell Magnus when he registered the fact that Magnus was still talking on the other end. 

“...and don’t worry, I’m already getting the article taken down. The most they have on you is that we talk a lot, we’ve never even met in person. One statement saying we’re just friends should be enough to shut this down before you get harassed too much. I’ll keep my distance when I’m back in the city, stir up some new press, and after a few weeks everyone will forget all about it and we can go back to normal, and figure things out from there.” 

Oh. 

Alec didn’t know what to say. Here he was about to lay everything on the line when Magnus was already brushing it all back under the rug like it was nothing. Like Alec was just another tabloid whisper to bury. He felt as if his entire world was just flipped on its head and immediately began to doubt everything he was so certain of just moments ago. 

“Alec? I know it isn’t ideal, but-” 

“No, that's..” Alec started, clearing his throat when the words caught there. “That’s fine. Thanks.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re alright? You sound upset.” Magnus sounded weary and Alec cursed Magnus’ ability to read him so well after such a short period of time, something he counted as a good quality not too long ago. 

“I’m fine,” Alec lied. _Back to normal_ , Magnus said. This was it, this was their normal. Late night calls and now avoiding each other in public. A call to pass time on the road, a secret kept out of the public eye… was that all he’d ever be? Magnus was just saying how much he wanted to be able to talk about Alec to people, but he was so quick to cover this up that Alec couldn’t help but question whether he was just saying that to be nice, because he knew it wouldn’t matter in the end. 

His resolve to make any grand declarations broken, Alec knew he couldn’t keep talking just then. The timing of Izzy’s key turning in the door couldn’t have been more perfect. 

“If anyone asks, I’ll keep up my end of the story. Look, I have to go, Izzy just showed up. But I’ll talk to you later,” Alec said, the words tumbling out in a rush. 

“Alright. Talk to you-” Magnus started, but Alec had already hung up before he could finish. He turned to face his sister with eyes full of heartbroken defeat. 

“Alec, what happened?” 

“He wanted to cover the whole thing up. Already had his PR team working on a statement and taking the article down.” Alec sank down into the sofa and took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself. 

“What did he say when you told him you wanted to go public?” 

Alec just shook his head. “I didn’t.” After a scathing look from his sister he continued quickly, “I _couldn’t_. You didn’t hear him, how eager he was to let this pass and keep things the way they are. He doesn’t even want to see me when he’s back in town now.” 

“That doesn’t make any sense. I really think you should talk to him about this.” Izzy said, walking over to sit next to him. 

“And risk ruining everything? He didn’t even humor the idea of letting the article stay and going public. He isn’t interested. I should’ve just been open from the start and now he’s fine with this just being the way things are. He probably likes it better this way... I don’t want to ruin what little we do have.” 

Izzy was silent for a while at that, her head falling to rest on his shoulder. “I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t know him the way you do. If you really think this is for the best, I can’t tell you it isn’t. But I really, _really_ think he’d listen to you if you told him you wanted more.” 

Alec wanted to believe her. He believe to think he meant half as much to Magnus as Magnus meant to him. He wanted to call Magnus back up and say everything he meant to say the first time.

Instead he sat on the sofa and fell asleep with his sister curled up against him, wondering if he’d ever be the sort of person who would fit into Magnus’ life. 

\---

The rumors died down surprisingly fast after Magnus had an official statement released stating he and Alec were not dating - which was technically not a lie. They never really discussed _what_ they were during those phone calls. Magnus hoped it would be a conversation they could have face-to-face, except now he wasn’t sure when that would be. For good measure he grabbed coffee with Camille where he knew a paparazzi or two would take plenty of photos to leak, taking Alec fully out of the limelight. 

Magnus hated every second of it, but it was the least he could do. He only hoped it was enough. 

Except Alec was barely talking to him. Too busy to answer his calls half the time, and only replying to texts hours later and with short replies, Magnus was starting to get the feeling that maybe it wasn’t enough, and that tabloid scare was enough make Alec rethink this whole thing. Without the tour to distract him, and with the only thing he actually wanted to do (which was, of course, seeing Alec and spending as much time as possible with him) being the one thing he _couldn’t_ do, Magnus was miserable. 

“What happened to wooing him with secret rendezvous?” Cat asked one afternoon Magnus came over to visit. 

“I can’t chance it. I promised him I’d keep my distance for a while, until everything blew over with the press.”

“So you haven’t even asked if he wanted to meet up?” Cat prodded, and while Magnus appreciated her optimism he couldn’t bring himself to share it. 

“No. I don’t want to push too much on him too fast… I don’t want to risk losing him. It might be too late for that, even.” 

Cat rose an eyebrow at that, but said nothing, waiting for him to continue. 

“He barely talks to me anymore. I had to stop texting him because I was starting to look desperate, just sending strings of unanswered messages. We haven’t had a real conversation in weeks. Since- well, you know. It ruined everything, and I can’t do a goddamn thing to fix it. How much of a fuck-up do you have to be to ruin things with your soulmate before you even properly meet them?” Magnus asked, following the question with a sharp, derisive huff. 

Cat did her best to distract him the rest of the evening, and then made him promise to meet her for coffee the next morning before an interview he had lined up on a morning talk show. 

\---

It was nearly 10:00 at night, and Alec was almost entirely asleep, when he heard his phone ring on the nightstand beside him. He answered it instinctively, still half-asleep. 

“Hello?” 

“Is this Alec Lightwood?” 

“...who is this?” Alec asked, a bit more awake now and glancing at the unknown number. 

“This is a friend of Magnus’, and I’m going to ask you very politely to not hang up on me.” Alec listened to the female voice on the other end, recognizing it from the background of a few video chats he had while Magnus was still on tour. 

“...Catarina?” 

“Yes. Magnus doesn’t know I’m calling you - I stole your number out of his phone while he was in the bathroom earlier. I’m going to ask you this once, and only once, and you’re going to be honest with me. Okay?” She sounded so severe that Alec had to wonder what the hell this could possibly be about. He considered hanging up anyway, fearing she might tell him that Magnus deserved better, or hated him for brushing him off lately… but his curiosity got the better of him. 

“I guess?” Alec agreed hesitantly, bracing himself for whatever might come next. Except what he heard was the last thing he expected. 

“Do you want to end things with Magnus?” 

“What?” The word left his mouth before he could stop it, incredulous. 

“He did everything he could to cover that article up, but you have to be realistic here. Being in the public eye is just part of being with him. And if you can’t handle that, you need to stop stringing him along, because he’s been fucking miserable since you started ignoring him and I can’t keep seeing him like this.” 

Alec gaped at the phone. “Stringing him along?! _He’s_ the one who was so eager to cover everything up the second it hit the news. He wanted to distance himself from me so fast it made my head spin.” The words came out heated and angry over the implication that he was the bad guy here. That _he_ was ruining _Magnus’_ life… it was absurd! “He didn’t want to see me and started going out with his ex, and _I’m_ the one stringing _him_ along?” 

“You think he did all of that because he wanted to?” 

Something in the way her tone shifted then, shifting from accusatory to something softer, made Alec’s own irritation fade as well. 

“I thought he just wanted to keep things the way they were, just talking, nothing serious. Nothing public. I wanted to let the article go and just, I don’t know, be a normal couple,” Alec admitted out loud for the first time since his original talk with Izzy. “But he was so eager to cover it up when I called that I just went with it.” 

“You’re both absolute idiots, I swear. He thinks the article scared you away, and he wants nothing more than to meet you but he’s too afraid to ask because he doesn’t want to scare you away for good. He only did those things to keep you out of the spotlight because it what he thought _you_ wanted.” Cat sounded a mixture of relieved and annoyed, which Alec couldn’t blame her for, imagining what she must’ve heard from Magnus the past few weeks since Alec started to push him away. 

“Well, it isn’t. Maybe it was at the start, but… not any more.” 

“I’m not the one you should be telling that to,” Cat pointed out. “In fact. I happen to know a certain someone who would love to hear that, who will be at Java Jones in the morning at precisely 7 am. Just in case you happen to be in the area and would like to randomly bump into him, clear the air, and not breathe a single word of this conversation to anyone.” 

“I’ll be there,” Alec promised, hanging up the phone with a small smile on his face. If Cat wasn’t lying - and he had no reason to believe she was - then maybe Isabelle had been right. Maybe they both wanted the same thing after all. 

Maybe all hope wasn’t lost. 

\---

Magnus glanced at his watch and checked his phone again. It was 6:57 and Cat was _always_ ten minutes early to everything. The fact that she didn’t beat him to Java Jones was weird, especially without a text to let him know she was running late. Or at least, late for her. The bell above the door sounded and he looked up fully expecting to see Cat walking in through the door. 

The last person he expected to see was Alec Lightwood. 

Alec looked around the room for a minute, not even glancing at the counter or the small line in front of it, until he spotted Magnus. They locked eyes, and Alec froze. Magnus could feel his heart racing in his chest, half-debating turning and leaving before Alec could so much as blink in his direction, but it was too late. Alec was already coming over. 

“What are you doing here?” Magnus asked, glancing around to make sure no one looked like they were paying them too much attention, no phone cameras out or anything of the like. 

“Wow,” Alec said, with a small laugh that caught Magnus off-guard. “Nice to really meet you, too.” Alec hesitated then, shifting a bit awkwardly before asking, “Can I sit?” 

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, I-” Magnus started, acutely aware of the growing crowd in the small shop he was known to frequent, but Alec cut him off. 

“Please?” Alec practically begged. “I promise, I’ll make it quick, and then you can kick me out if you want to.” 

“Alright,” Magnus agreed, wondering if Alec planned this. Maybe he followed him here just to end things permanently in person. Maybe he wanted to make a scene and throw a coffee at him for letting that article get out. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been blowing you off lately,” Alec started, slowly. “When that article came out, and you were so quick to cover everything up, I thought… well, I thought you just wanted to keep things a secret forever.” 

Magnus opened his mouth to protest but Alec held up a hand. 

“Wait, just, let me finish before I lose what little nerve I built up for this.” Magnus frowned, but nodded, and Alec continued. “I should’ve said something then, but I thought I was doing the right thing going along with your plan, and the statement, and everything. But that isn’t what I want. _This,”_ Alec said, motioning between them and the shop they were in. “Is what I want. And if you want that too, great. Because I really missed talking to you every day, and I _really_ want to see you off a phone screen for a change. And if not, just tell me to leave and I’m gone.” 

Magnus didn’t say anything at first. It took a minute to process everything Alec just said, to take in the way his voice shook just a little at the end in uncertainty, the way he looked terrified of Magnus’ decision, as if there was any universe in which he would actually send Alec away. 

“I’m so sorry I made you feel like I didn’t want you around,” Magnus said, finally. 

“You didn’t know. I never said anything, it isn’t your fault,” Alec insisted. 

“But I should’ve known. I knew something was wrong after I called you that day and I never stopped to ask what you wanted. I just did it for you.” 

“I think we can safely agree we were both idiots, and maybe never mention it again?” Alec offered hopefully. 

“If you think there’s a chance Cat, Ragnor, and Raphael are going to let me forget about this, you’re very, very wrong. This will be mentioned many times, for the rest of our lives.” 

“...the rest of our lives, eh?” Alec repeated, a hopeful gleam in his eye as he arched an eyebrow, the scar in it more pronounced in person than it was over video. Magnus was pleased to see he didn’t look like he was about to be scared off any time soon. Quite the opposite, in fact, as Alec eased into his seat now, much more relaxed. 

They talked a little more, clearing the air about the events of the past few weeks and making a little small talk over lattes, before Magnus remembered why he came here in the first place when Cat sent him a text. 

**C: If you miss your interview because you’re too wrapped up talking to Alec, it isn’t going to be my fault.**

Of course she was behind this. He’d have to yell at her, and also thank her, for going behind his back later. Perhaps he’d send her a bouquet of her least favorite flowers, which would fit the sentiment nicely. 

“I have to go, I have an interview soon…” Magnus hesitated, not sure if this was the sort of thing Alec would want to tag along to, or if that _would_ be too much, too soon? Thankfully he didn’t have to wonder for long. 

“Can I walk with you?” Alec offered. “It’s fine if you’d rather go alone. I know I already crashed your morning plans once.” 

“And it would be an honor to have you crash them again,” Magnus confirmed, standing up from the table. 

Alec stood too, grinning as he fell into step beside Magnus as they left, hands brushing while they walked before their fingers found a comfortable resting place interlocked between them. 

“You know they’re going to ask about you if we walk in together,” Magnus pointed out, learning from his mistakes enough to know it’d be better to ask Alec what he wanted him to say this time around. 

“I do,” Alec confirmed. “And you can tell them whatever you want to about me.” 

Magnus considered that. “And what if I want to tell them that I walked here with my boyfriend today?” He chanced, glancing over to see Alec’s grin widen in response. 

Magnus felt Alec give his hand a gentle squeeze before he replied, “Sounds perfect.” 

It certainly did. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to [Amanda](http://www.twitter.com/the_biconic_mb) for her birthday, because she likes soulmate AUs and wanted a bit of drama ;) I hope you like it, and everyone should DEFINITELY check out her work as well because it's some a++ stuff! <3 Happy birthday, Amanda! 
> 
> ( Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell)! <3 )


End file.
